The Friday sermon for July 31, 2026 (corresponding to 16 Safar 1448 AH) - Sayed Hashim Behbehani Mosque - Sheikh Ali Hassan Ghuloum - Kuwait

 

The 1st sermon:

Investing Summer Break: Spiritual Immunity and Psychological Well-being.

In the 11th Supplication of Al-Sahifa al-Sajjadiyya, titled "His Supplication for Good Outcomes," Imam Zayn al-Abidin (peace be upon him) offers a profound psychological and spiritual guide for managing free time:"And if You decree for us comfort from occupation, make it a comfort of security, in which no ill consequence overtakes us, and no weariness overtakes us."

During hot summer breaks, where high temperatures and limited travel opportunities increase the likelihood of experiencing excessive free time, Imam al-Sajjad (pbuh) highlights two critical dimensions to safeguard our well-being:

1. Immunity Against Sin ("No Ill Consequence Overtakes Us"):
Idle time can easily become a gateway to destructive behaviors, especially with unmonitored access to smartphones and the internet. To ensure that free time does not lead to spiritual or ethical harm, individuals must proactively fill their time with beneficial activities for both their worldly life and the hereafter. Endless productive options exist, even without leaving the house.

2. Prevention of Psychological Faintness ("No Weariness Overtakes Us"):
Unregulated boredom and mental stagnation act as entry points for psychological illnesses, toxic thoughts, and physical lethargy. Chronic boredom often triggers excessive sleeping, irritability, and a pessimistic outlook on life. In severe cases, it can drive individuals toward substance abuse or illicit relationships. Parents and guardians must remain vigilant, actively implementing preventive measures to guide their families.

The Holy Imam (pbuh) concludes this profound section by reminding us of the ultimate spiritual goal of utilizing free time wisely: "So that the writers of evil deeds may depart from us with a page empty of our sins, and the writers of good deeds may turn away from us happy with the good deeds of ours which they have written."

The 2nd sermon:

Understanding Wife's Psychological Needs

Building upon last week's discourse regarding the distinct psychological traits of men that wives must understand for a successful family life, we concluded with a profound narration from the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny):

"A man’s statement to his wife, 'I love you,' never leaves her heart."

This highlights a fundamental duty: a husband must thoroughly understand the core elements of a woman's personality in general, and his wife's specific psychological and physical needs in particular. It is crucial to note that—just as last week’s discussion focused on the sound, balanced man—this discourse pertains strictly to the sound, balanced woman. It does not address individuals driven by greed, narcissism, or those raised in a toxic environment.

Family relations experts emphasize these core needs. One specialist conducted a survey to identify the top two priorities a woman expects from a man; the results conclusively showed them to be: Attentiveness (Care) and Emotional Security.

Furthermore, a localized study conducted by the Ministry of Justice’s Family Counseling Department—analyzing the causes of divorce among newlywed Kuwaiti citizens—explicitly listed "The failure of the other party to express words of love and admiration" as a major driving factor. According to the study, while 24.4% of males agreed that a lack of romantic affirmation leads to divorce, this figure nearly doubled among females, skyrocketing to 43%.

This statistical disparity clearly demonstrates that a foundational pillar of a woman’s psychology is her innate need to hear specific words that affirm a man's attentiveness and devotion.

Bridging the Emotional Gap: Four Practical Ways Husbands Can Affirm Their Wives and Revitalize Marriage

To nurture a healthy and stable marital relationship, family counseling insights highlight four essential keys that husbands must practice to fulfill their wives' emotional needs:

1. Praise Her Intellect and Way of Thinking:

A husband should explicitly express how his wife's advice or ideas helped him achieve a goal. This sends a powerful message that she is an integral partner in his life, which significantly boosts her trust in him.

2. Praise Her Beauty and Appearance:

The Almighty states in the Holy Quran: " Someone who is brought up amongst trinkets,..." (Az-Zukhruf: 18). This is a divine reminder for men. A woman places a high priority on her appearance and adornment; therefore, praising this aspect is a direct key to her heart. If she ever self-critically says, "I know I am not beautiful," a husband should never counter by saying, "Inner beauty or cooking skills are what matter." Such remarks can be deeply hurtful. Instead, he can genuinely praise her choice of perfume, her elegant touch in dressing up, or her sophistication.

3. Express the Value of the Relationship:

A husband needs to verbally communicate his happiness in being with her, thank God for bringing them together, and acknowledge that she has brought special meaning to his life. He should actively voice appreciation for her support, care, and sleepless nights spent raising the children.

4. Show Active Interest in Her Topics of Conversation:

Unless the talk involves forbidden matters like backbiting or slander, a husband must engage attentively. Often, a woman is not looking for analytical solutions; rather, she seeks emotional connection, validation, and a reassuring feeling that her husband stands by her, understands her perspective, and genuinely cares.

The Danger of Emotional Dryness: Real-Life Case Studies

Many marital disputes root back to "emotional dryness," where both spouses withhold their feelings, each waiting for the other to take the first step. Her pride holds her back, and his ego restrains him, resulting in a wall of silence that eventually explodes into conflict.

In a recent counseling case, a couple on the verge of a temporary separation sought guidance. After listening to both sides, the core issue was clear: her conversations were strictly limited to household problems and chores, while his responses were rare and emotionally cold. They were simply suffering from emotional dryness. By reminding them of their engagement days—how he used to express his deep feelings and how both loved prolonged conversations—they realized what they had lost. They embraced the advice, left the session smiling, and successfully restored their marital harmony.

Why Do Men Struggle to Express Emotions?

In her book Brain Sex, Dr. Anne Moir notes: "Men are conditioned not to express their feelings because their capacity to feel emotions is physically separated in their brains from their verbal ability to express them, to a much greater extent than in women."

A man naturally interacts with other men this way, rarely expressing verbal affection or appreciation to his male friends. However, he often forgets that his wife is not one of his male peers. To build a thriving marriage, a man must consciously strive to overcome this biological predisposition. He needs to actively remind, train, and monitor himself until expressing love and appreciation becomes a spontaneous, natural habit.

The Conclusion: Nurturing Love Beyond Biological Differences—The Fault is in His Brain, Not His Heart

In conclusion, Allah the Almighty has inherently established the foundation of marital life on affection and mercy, as stated in the Holy Quran:

" Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21).

However, biological variations in brain structure can often cause a husband to neglect expressing words of love, appreciation, praise, and admiration toward his wife. Consequently, she may mistakenly feel that his love for her has faded. It is precisely for this reason that the Holy Prophet (peace be upon him and his progeny) emphasized:

"A man’s statement to his wife, 'I love you,' never leaves her heart."

If verbalizing love were an entirely automatic impulse for men, there would be no need for such an explicit prophetic reminder. Therefore, a husband must actively strive to overcome this biological disposition to maintain a consistent expression of love and emotion toward his wife. Conversely, a wife must understand this inherent difference and gently assist him from time to time to strengthen their mutual affection and mercy. Ultimately, a wife must realize that the issue lies within his brain's wiring, not within his heart.

Let both spouses always remember that a kind and beautiful word holds the transformative power of a paintbrush in the hands of a masterful artist.