The Friday sermon for jun 12, 2026 (corresponding to 26 Thu al-hijjah 1447 AH) - Sayed Hashim Behbehani Mosque - Sheikh Ali Hassan Ghuloum - Kuwait

 

The 1st sermon:

A Review of Religious Upbringing Methodologies for Children

"Luqman counselled his son, ‘My son, do not attribute any partners to God: attributing partners to Him is a terrible wrong.’"

The methodologies employed by parents in religious upbringing are vast and varied. Conceivably, they may all culminate in a child growing up to be an observant Muslim—performing prayers, paying alms, fasting, and abstaining from the prohibited—even if such adherence is merely confined to the public eye.

Some of these pedagogical tactics might appear to be shortcuts compared to others, demanding minimal effort from parents to sculpt a child into this outward image of piety.

This must be viewed through the lens of individual temperament, as the child's distinct personality plays a pivotal role. Some are obstinate, others highly compliant; some may be passive, while others are evasive, excessively inquisitive, or entirely indifferent.

However, achieving the desired external result does not validate the soundness of the chosen parenting methods. It does not guarantee that they have forged a psychologically stable personality, balanced in its religiosity, and rooted in genuine conviction and profound awareness.

Conversely, one often observes that a child raised under such regimes grows into a devout adult whose religiosity is laced with aggression—essentially becoming a vessel of deep-seated complexes, fanaticism, and animosity directed toward others.

Such individuals may present a facade of devout righteousness in public, while harboring moral depravity in private.

Furthermore, they often exhibit a heightened vulnerability to swift moral derailment and corruption.

I do not contest that the definition of an ideal educational framework in this domain remains a subject of protracted debate. What I present here is by no means universally agreed upon, but rather a perspective offered to stimulate critical thought and research.

Let our point of departure for contemplation be Surah Luqman. Parents and educators of Islamic studies are earnestly invited to reflect upon the pedagogical style illustrated in Luqman’s counsels to his son—a theme we shall explore deeply in the second sermon, God willing.

 

The 2nd sermon:

Nurturing Conviction and Love: Lessons from the Pedagogical Discourse in Luqman’s Counsels

When contemplating the pedagogical methodology within Luqman’s counsels—specifically regarding the absolute cornerstone of faith, monotheism (Tawhid)—we observe that it is framed around persuasion rather than intimidation: "Luqman counselled his son, ‘My son, do not attribute any partners to God: attributing partners to Him is a terrible wrong.’"

His declaration that "Attributing partners to Him is a terrible wrong.’" belongs not to the realm of threats and fear of retribution, but rather to the domain of existential and emotional discourse. Is it not a profound injustice to turn our backs on the Creator, the Ultimate Benefactor and Bestower of Grace, and instead turn toward mere creatures and illusions, elevating them to the status of divinity with all the subsequent rituals of worship and subjugation?

Similarly, when directing his son toward filial piety, he deliberately speaks to the child's emotional conscience: " Their mothers carried them, with strain upon strain, and it takes two years to wean them." This profound emotional resonance remains a consistent thread throughout all his counsels.

Remarkably, even when addressing polytheism and ultimate accountability in the afterlife, his discourse completely refrains from mentioning torment or being consumed by fire: "If they strive to make you associate with Me anything about which you have no knowledge," then do not obey them. Yet keep their company in this life according to what is right, and follow the path of those who turn to Me. You will all return to Me in the end, and I will tell you everything that you have done."

In stark contrast, one of the most fundamentally flawed educational practices—ironically the most pervasive and the quickest to yield results—is the tactic of systemic intimidation and fear-mongering.

Consider these common parental refrains:

"Whoever tells a lie, Allah will cast them into the Fire! Whoever fails to pray, Allah will burn them in Hell!"

"If you defy my words, Allah will stop loving you and will punish you!"

Worse still, a parent might inflict extreme forms of physical or psychological abuse: severe beatings, confinement in dark rooms, flogging, or branding with hot objects.

Admittedly, the immediate outcome of this relentless intimidation and punishment may well be a child who fears lying, performs their prayers, respects their sibling's boundaries, and complies with parental authority. Could there be any outcome superior to this? Have the parents not achieved precisely what they set out to accomplish, and by the most direct route imaginable?

Consider this poignant account shared by a mother regarding her young child: One evening, upon returning from school, my little one looked up and asked, "Mother, what does Allah gain from our continuous, never-ending punishment? Did He create us just to torment us and burn us for every single thing we do? Why does He hate us so much?"

When the mother inquired about the origin of these troubling thoughts, the boy revealed that his teacher relentlessly drilled into them that arriving late to class would invoke divine wrath, and failing to maintain absolute silence during lessons would invite Allah's anger.

Simply put, for certain parents and educators, God (Glorified be He) has been reduced to nothing more than an instrument of terror and retribution.

This child—who has yet to grasp who Allah truly is, or comprehend the essence of a Lord who is the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful, whose tenderness toward His creation eclipses that of a mother for her newborn—now perceives the Almighty exclusively as an omnipotent, perpetually angry, and severely punitive entity whose sole purpose is to cast people into Hellfire.

This agonizing question remains lodged in the child's psyche well into adulthood: Why did God create us if our ultimate destiny in the hereafter is nothing but torment, retribution, and Hell? Why grant us life if existence itself is reduced to mere suffering and malice?

Such a child may very well continue to practice faith outwardly, but it will be a devotion devoid of conviction or love. They will remain fundamentally incapable of endearing religion to others, and will likely develop a hypocritical, double-faced approach to piety. Ultimately, the divine image ingrained in their subconscious—until their hair turns gray—is that of a terrifying entity. Is this truly the desired expression of faith?

This educational pitfall was brilliantly anticipated by the renowned classical sociologist Ibn Khaldun, who observed: "When an individual's upbringing is rooted in coercion and subjugation, those harsh forces dominate the soul, stifling its natural joy and expansion. It strips away vitality, breeds laziness, and compels the individual to resort to deceit, malice, and hypocrisy—manifesting an exterior completely detached from their inner conscience, purely out of fear that violent hands will be raised against them. Consequently, it trains them in cunning and trickery until these traits morph into permanent habits and core character defects. Thus, the very essence of human dignity required for civic life and civilization is corrupted—namely, honor, courage, and the impulse to defend oneself or one's home—rendering the individual entirely dependent and a burden upon others."

To be clear, highlighting these flaws does not dismiss the secondary pedagogical role of discipline, warnings, accountability, and fair consequences. Rather, the vital question we must confront is this: Should intimidation be the cornerstone of religious education? Is it the solitary framework we must adopt? Or is it merely a volatile instrument that must be handled with extreme caution, wisdom, and within legitimate bounds? Surely, it should only be utilized as a measure of last resort when all positive reinforcements have failed, ensuring it never inflicts deeper psychological or behavioral scars that paint the Creator as a tyrant who delights in suffering.

Parents and educators are urgently called upon to embrace alternative methodologies, chief among them the "pedagogy of endearment." True love dictates that a person strives not to oppose their beloved; one who truly loves will exhaust every avenue to ensure their beloved remains pleased with them. This is precisely the pedagogical blueprint laid out in Luqman’s counsels to his son, where each directive is beautifully paired with an explanation of its underlying wisdom. How much more profound it is when the very catalyst for faith and obedience is rooted in the love of God, the pursuit of His good pleasure, and a conscious attraction to the deep wisdom embedded within His commands and prohibitions.